[INTERVIEW] EL CAPITXN On "Breaking Through" with TXT's Taehyun and Finding Love Again

<K-ALL Interview>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RauW1pBtdnE

EL CAPITXN on K-ALL: FULL INTERVIEW

ANGEL: First off EL, I want to congratulate you on your successful New York Show. Yay! claps Very exciting! Your concert follows a very specific storyline. So I was wondering, what about the New York concert stuck out to you?

EL: At the end of the show, I added a new song. I wrote the song the night before the show regarding an issue I was involved in recently, and I played it. To be honest, when I tried explaining my side and perspective on SNS, people didn't want to hear it. So no matter how much I shared, netizens would twist it into a completely different. When I saw that, I felt angry because I'm a human. So in the concert hall, I said I could say "I'm angry, so f*ck you" but if I just say that with words, it's not very cool. So I wanted to create a story. I'll just say it without censoring. To the kids with the strange antics, I wanted to tell them this. No matter how much you guys try to tear me down, I'm going to keep sharing my story and music. I wanted to show them that I'm unfazed by feelings or hurt. I was also thankful to them actually, because I was able to write a song out of the situation. My fans really liked the songs. If I say "F*ck you," "Go to hell" with my words, it can be excessive. In my music, I can say those phrases in an artistic way, and include it in my show. It was really great. My fans related to it a lot.

HAYE: Your fans were probably aware of the situation.

EL CAPITXN: That's right. I didn't expect to share that story. Before playing the song, I shared a ment. When I started speaking, my fans started shouting "F*ck you! F*ck them! So I realized that everyone already knew. They really did. I hadn't anticipated that part.

Because it was too short a period for everyone to know, and since I wanted to tell the story I wanted to tell on my own and express it through my performance, I thought I would just be talking to myself. However, since the fans already knew, they shared that moment with me. I think that actually made it feel even more special.

Angel: Yeah, it was a really nice experience. I personally loved it cause it was my birthday and hearing everyone be like “f you!,” it was so fun.

Haye: On your birthday!

Angel: On my birthday! That was so good. There was so much swearing on my birthday, you know. But you know what? I don't usually say things like that, but it was really nice to be able to shout it out loud through music. Everyone has felt that feeling when people misunderstand them, right? They only believe what they want to believe. You can use music to turn those feelings into something positive.

EL: Yeah

Angel: That's right. It was truly amazing. In fact, you demonstrated musical genius by performing a piece you composed yourself the night before, so I wanted to ask how you conceived the song so quickly and what the process was like.

EL: For me, when I feel a strong urge to do something, putting the song together becomes incredibly easy. There are various situations, but it’s similar to having only one day left until a deadline. I can work with much greater focus when I’m in extreme situations. Even if someone gave me a month or a year, those urgent two days have a much bigger impact on me. The reason I was able to create this song in just one day is that the messages I wanted to convey were so clear, and the issues or events related to them were so distinct. That’s why I was able to write the lyrics quickly. And actually, once my lyrics or the message I want to express is set, the music naturally follows.

Haye : I think you're a genius. Really.

Angel: He is. I know, he really is. And the reaction was so good that the sound filled the entire venue. Everyone sang along, every single word. And I would like to talk about another song you sang. It is an unreleased track titled “GOD GOD GOD.” I really love this song.

EL: Yes, I know you like that.

Angel: Yes, that is correct. It is because heartbreaking lyrics, such as “Every broken note feels like a hanging rope,” blend with a grand and worshipful sound. Why did you create such a contrast? Was it intended to make Heaven hear your prayers?

EL: Yes. Actually, that song is the only gospel track on my setlist, which consists of dozens of songs. The reason I chose a gospel song is that when I first lost my voice, I went through a very difficult time. I wondered why, out of all the singers, it had to be my voice. But I didn't know. I didn't know who took it, there wasn't any specific trigger, and I didn't injure my throat. It just disappeared at some point. Honestly, back then, I could only blame the heavens. I was genuinely curious why the world was putting me to the test like this. Why me? Honestly.

That thought struck me so strongly. So, while the song "GOD GOD GOD" sounds very happy and like a typical gospel song when you just listen to it, the lyrics are actually, in a way, about venting some dissatisfaction to God. Nevertheless, I wanted to express the feeling that I still hold onto faith. Just because the lyrics are despairing, it would have been too cliché to create a dark and serious "dark gospel." Since I am in the process of slowly reconnecting with my fans and finding love again, and I am so happy because of that, I wanted the music to be beautiful and create a contrast, even though the lyrics contain some resentment. However, the important thing is that if I had written "GOD GOD GOD" during that difficult time, it likely would have turned out very dark. But because I wrote this song while receiving healing from the fans I have reunited with, I think the song is able to be beautiful.

Haye: At the same time as beauty

Angel: That's right. Sadness exists at the same time. There is a duality to it. And while the lyrics might feel depressing, I actually think they are very hopeful. Especially the last part. The lyric, “But I’m still calling.” It seems like you are still waiting for the possibility that your voice might return someday, or perhaps having fans sing from all directions is a way of bringing your voice back in a different way. It is a truly beautiful song, and I think that beauty is captured well. That is why I love this song so much. Listening to it gives me hope.

Another interesting piece of news is that you unveiled the new song “Breaking Through,” which you worked on with Jeremy Zucker and TXT’s Taehyun, at the New York concert. I saw you uploaded a teaser as well; I’m really looking forward to it!

As a producer, how did this project start, and what happened during the production process?

EL: I was a producer at HYBE even before TXT's Taehyun debuted. I had known him since he was a trainee, and we were together on every project leading up to his debut. Because we talked a lot about the music we wanted to do and what we were good at, I used to play my songs for him whenever I composed one. Through that process, Taehyun came to like my music, and we developed a musical bond. The moment I decided to do the Artist Project again, I ran up to Taehyun without hesitation. I had about 10 to 20 songs at the time, and I said, "I'll play them all for you, so pick one you like." He replied, "If you don't like it, never mind." But he chose "Breaking Through."

I said I wanted to do this, so I ended up working with Taehyun. But before that, I had wanted to try working with a pop artist. In any case, since I work in the K-POP industry, I wanted to play a role. K-POP is currently expanding globally and growing while constantly transforming into different forms. So, I wanted to act as an intermediary in that process. I thought it would be fun to have a pop artist and a K-POP artist collaborate. Of course, there have been instances of pop and K-POP artists collaborating, but since I can't express my own voice, I have to borrow the voices of other singers.

But as I looked for deeper meaning beyond simply borrowing, I wondered what it would be like to create a form where POP and K-POP could harmonize. However, honestly, getting a K-POP artist to feature is very difficult; you have to get company approval and check their schedules. Am I talking too much?

Haye: Not at all. Please talk freely.

EL: My answer was a bit long, but to put it briefly, I had some connections with singers in the K-POP scene, but I had absolutely none in the Pop scene. But I really wanted to do it. So I just went to LA without a plan, taking the guys from the Wenders team with me. I went to LA, followed producers who knew Jeremy Zucker, got introduced to him, and asked them to arrange lunch with me. Jeremy Zucker actually said he was fine. I don't remember if it was lunch or dinner, but we talked over a meal. So I sent him the song, we wrote the lyrics together, and that's how the song was born.

Usually, when POP artists collaborate with K-POP artists, it is typically done on a company-to-company basis. The terms must absolutely match for the release to happen, which makes it very difficult. With "Breaking Through," however, the artists discussed it amongst themselves first, and then approached the company saying, "We have agreed on this, so please just take care of the rest." That is why I think it is meaningful.

Angel: A lot.

Haye: This is big news.

EL: I don't know anymore. I'm finished. Please someone help me. I don't know anymore.

Angel: It is truly impressive and really cool. There is no need to even introduce your name. If EL CAPITXN proposes a collaboration, you will want to accept it.

EL: Thank you. I practically begged.

Haye: He begged.

Angel: What happened?

Haye: He begged Jeremy, "Can you do it with me?"

Angel: Oh, really?

EL: I can understand a little bit now, but that was two years ago, and back then I didn't know any English at all. So I took the friend who always introduced us and said, "What did they say?" and "But I really want to do it." I just went there completely blindly. Without any plan whatsoever.

Angel 

I think it's really cool. I really liked it when I heard it at the concert. I'm really looking forward to the official release. Congratulations on the release!

EL

Thank you.

Angel

You're welcome. And I'd like to talk about some of the sketch music you shared on a recent Instagram Live. I really love “We're Like A Cross” too. It's so cute. I really love that song! The universal idea that we are all connected in every direction is truly beautiful. So that really resonated with me. You mentioned before that you felt like God had abandoned you, and this song seems to be filled with a prayerful heart. In that case, what is the driving force that makes you write lyrics about faith and love, even when it feels like your prayers aren't being answered?

EL 

Honestly, I am not in a position to speak clearly about that part. That is because I don't really know myself. When a person wants something a lot, they get angry, cry, and strangely feel happy.

Even if it isn't necessarily because of the achievement, various emotions attach themselves during the process, don't they? I think I am in that kind of state. When I wrote the lyrics and story for the song “We're Like A Cross,” having lost my voice, all the fans I originally had and the love I used to receive had vanished. For example, the shape of a cross is made up of four directions, and at first, I thought we had all scattered in different directions. I just thought that if we each went our separate ways according to the shape of the cross, we would eventually grow further and further apart.

However, as I met my fans again, I gradually began to wonder, "Can I be loved again?" There is a hidden meaning here: while the shape of the cross appears to consist of only four straight lines on the surface, there might ultimately be a path leading back. So, even if we are going in different directions and are far apart, if we have faith or the love we haven't forgotten and still cherish, it feels like we can eventually meet again after taking a winding path. That is the message conveyed by the lyrics: we are like the cross.

Haye

He is very deep.

Angel

Yes. He's very profound.

Haye 

When he lost his money, no when he lost his voice.

Angel

I know what you mean. It's not money, it's your voice.

EL

Actually, my voice was my money! So, it’s kind of like losing money. It’s the same context.

Angel

Going back to the tour name “WHO KILLED EL?”, do you feel like you’ve been newly recharged by meeting the fans? Do you feel like you’ve been reborn?

EL

Yes, I think so. When I lost everything, I developed a defensive habit: I started to assume that everything was a lie. For instance, whenever someone mentioned the love I had lost—like, "I'm a real fan," or "I really became a fan after hearing that song"—I developed a habit of thinking, "Ah, that's a lie," first. It was self-defense. But regardless, that was my past self. Since I lived with negative feelings after going through that dark period, those thoughts came naturally, and honestly, I still do. When I'm performing, I feel so happy thinking, "Wow, are these people really my fans?" But at the same time, I think, "But it was like this back then, too. They were like this back then, too."

I gave and received love like this, and I was so happy, but since it all suddenly disappeared, I started to think, "Isn't this going to be the same as before?" I developed a bit of a self-defense mechanism, thinking, "Since I trusted them 100% back then and got hurt so much, let's try trusting them only halfway this time." Fortunately, I feel like I am gradually overcoming that while on this North American tour. So, to be honest, I can't say I'm completely healed, but that thought still coexists in my head. However, I tell myself that even if those people disappear someday, they are sincere at least for now, so let's just accept that sincerity exactly as it is, right now. I force myself to believe that my respect for the love they give me is not to doubt it. I used to keep telling myself never to have negative thoughts, but as I wrapped things up in New York, those doubts have diminished significantly. So, for the first time, I started wondering, "What kind of love will come next? Could love grow even bigger?"

Haye

I think you are very honest and pure.

Angel 

He is. You are.

Haye

He is looking forward to the next version of love.

Angel

That's wonderful.

Haye

It seems like there are many kinds of fan love.

Angel

Of course. When I think back to when you performed “Can You Hear Me? (EULOGY),” the venue was filled with love. Everyone was singing along to the ‘Na Na Na,’ and you were wearing a sincere smile. You looked truly happy. It seemed like you had found love in that moment. It was full of love, and it permeated the entire venue.

EL 

I was so happy.

Angel

That's a relief. I was really happy, too. I think everyone was.

EL

Yes.

Angel

That is true love, and it shows that the people by your side now are the ones who will be by your side forever. They watched you go through your hardest times, and now they want to support you, hoping you will shine through all the new music you create.

Yes. It was a truly successful performance. I also wanted to talk about the sketch for the other collaboration with Yugyeom that you briefly mentioned. You showed a little bit of it on the Instagram Live broadcast, didn't you? I'm curious how that project started. What was it like working together?

EL

Yugyeom and I participated in an idol survival audition program called Universe League together. We appeared as judges and were on the same team. We were in a two-person group, so we became very close there. Naturally, we also started making music together.

One of the songs I played for him on Instagram Live was one I wanted to share with him on my own, even though I hadn't asked for his permission, and we naturally ended up working on it together. However, a precise plan for that song hasn't been finalized yet because Yugyeom is currently in the military.

Haye

Since Yugyeom is in military, he shared it without his permission.

EL

Yeah :)

Haye 

Since Yugyeom is currently serving in the military, there are no plans yet.

Angel

So I was curious too. I thought, "How did that happen?" I see. That's really funny. It sounds like it would be really fun, so I'll definitely look forward to it when it's released.

EL 

Thank you.

Angel

You described your new album in progress on your YouTube channel as "desperate," but after listening to the demo, it seems to be filled with love, so I don't think that description is appropriate. How did your emotional perception of the lyrics you wrote change while performing live?

EL

I realized this quite recently, too. I want to unravel all my past stories, my current stories, and the stories that lie ahead through my albums. However, my first album starts with stories about a dark period in my life, so if you listen to the songs, there are many dark tracks. One thing I realized recently while writing the lyrics is that the reason for the darkness, the aggression, and the explosions is all due to the lack of love. So, whether I was making happy songs or aggressive ones, slow songs or fast songs, the darkness or happiness stemmed from the yearning for love. The root of everything was the absence of love. I recently realized that no matter how dark a song is, the reason it is inevitably dark in its lyrics is the absence of love. But what was the question?

Haye

How did your emotional perception of the lyrics you wrote change while performing live?

EL

Just by listening to the sound, you might think they are someone who pursues dark music, but in a way, I think it will be a truly heartbreaking album. It is an album where they are crying out for love because they have none. That is probably why I described it as desperate.

Angel

I understand. However, it seems that many people can empathize with that sense of despair, and that actually makes us feel a stronger sense of solidarity. Because if anyone listening to this song has experienced or is currently yearning for love, they will be able to feel, while listening to the music, that there is someone who understands them.

EL

It’s not a crucial point, but I’m talking about the album. I plan to divide every album into two parts. There will be a dark inner self born from losing love, and on the other side of that darkness, there is a version of me that genuinely and purely craves love. So, those songs will be hopeful, beautiful, or a bit dramatic. Then there will be a part like a boy dreaming of his true, honest, and very pure love. That is why I intend to bring duality into my albums.

Angel 

I'm looking forward to it too. Do you know when it might be released? I know the fans are waiting..

EL

For now, there is no set date. However, I definitely want to release it within this year, and I will do my best to make that happen. I don't want to delay it any longer. I feel like this is the right time to express my current emotions exactly as they are, and if I wait any longer, those feelings might fade. So, I am trying to release it as soon as possible.

Angel

Yes. Because it is the feeling you are experiencing right now. I understand. I hope it is released soon. I am looking forward to it too.

My last question is, “EL, What You Gonna Do?” What are you going to do on your last day in New York?

EL 

This is the first time I'm saying this, but “Breaking Through” will be released this month, and the next song is ready. It has never been revealed to the fans before.

After my remaining time in New York, I am going to Europe, and during that time, I plan to film a music video for the next song before the performance.

Angel

Wow, that's really exciting! So, are you appearing in the music video yourself?

EL

Yes. I am appearing.

Angel

Amazing!

EL

I am appearing in it because it is my album.

Angel

Great. So you are the star. That is exactly what I wanted to see. That is exactly what I am looking forward to. That's amazing. Congratulations! I can't wait for the release of that work.

Haye

Thank you for taking the time. Angel recommended that I watch SUGA's YouTube channel. Specifically, the part where the two of you met on SUGA's YouTube channel.

Angel

Yes. Suchwita.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkCCWRtPsvQ

Haye

She sent it to me and told me to make sure to watch it. Watching it, I got the impression that you had a very pure soul, and you seemed to really enjoy the meal there.

Angel

Oh, that's right. There's so much food. You hadn't eaten anything before that, had you? You waited to eat on that show, so you must have been really hungry.

EL

That shoot was a huge burden for me. Up until then, I was just a producer, and honestly, there is no reason to take care of one's appearance; my role was simply to eat whatever I wanted and put in the effort to write good songs. But since I had to show my face in front of people for the first time in seven years, I had already gained quite a bit of weight.

Haye 

It didn't look like that.

EL

Absolutely not. I had gained a lot of weight. So, since I went out for that shoot without eating anything, I had no choice but to eat that. I don't really know what SUGA was saying, but I was just focused on eating. I was so hungry.

Angel

It’s a relief to hear that you enjoyed a lot of delicious food on the show. Also, you both mentioned that it felt awkward appearing on screen with heavy makeup on. You said it was because you weren't used to seeing him like that.

EL 

Yes!

Angel

Thank you so much for the wonderful interview.

Haye

Thank you for coming out to see us from your hotel.

EL

Thank you for inviting me out. It was so stuffy in there.

Haye

He said he was at the hotel all day and thanked you for letting him out.

Angel 

Of course! I'm so glad you came. Let's go take a picture in front of the Hangeul wall upstairs.

EL

Yes.

Angel

You can write your name directly on the digital wall or leave lyrics or messages.

Interpretations: Haye Lee

Translations: Holly Paik and Vendors Team

Production: Angel Polito